UNIVERSAL STEP 5

STEP 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

In Step 4, we inventoried our fears, resentments, and character defects (and hopefully assets as well), now it’s time to use the power of the Word to bring in healing to ourselves. As a brief review of what we are talking about, I will cite the Green Book:

“Admitting our wrongs means admitting all the ways in which we were dishonest, unfair, abusive, inconsiderate, unjust, or unethical. Our wrongs include all of the ways we (cheated) to get ahead or to avoid consequences we didn’t want to face. They may also include actions we neglected to take, as well as ones we took.”

We wrote down these things in Step 4, now it is time that we reflect upon them and admit to ourselves without justification, “Yeah, I did that, and while I am not proud, I understand what motivated me and I am ready to move on from that way of thinking and being.”

We recognize and accept that these were/are ways of acting out sync with the Laws of Nature and Creation (see previous postings for detailed explanation of this concept) as we on some level did harm to others and ourselves. When we admit this to God/Self and to ourselves through contemplation, meditation and prayer, we can begin to heal ourselves and forgive ourselves- we can be “redeemed”. A wonderful short prayer or mantra we can say to ourselves to bring about self-forgiveness is “Thank you. I’m sorry. I love you. Forgive me.”

Now that we have undergone the difficult process of being honest with ourselves, now it is time that we are honest with another person. This is the point where I once again make the case that the Steps are not just for “addicts”, even though it was originally developed for them. All but the most exceptional among us have secrets (and I dare say they too might have a few things they don’t air in public). All of us have a few instances from our past that we are ashamed to admit in full- specifically those instances in which we know we have acted in a less than honorable manner. These are things that have the potential to erode our view of ourselves as well as our ability to be truly close with others out of fear that they might see “who we really are”.

This is for all intents and purposes a confession. The Sacrament of Confession itself is a very old thing that unfortunately has been given a lot of dusty associations rooted in shame and regret, and the idea of “sin”. However Father Paul Blighton clears this up very succinctly:

“Sin is merely a name for the incorrect use of the great creative law of God. This law is the nature of man’s own being and function. Right use of this law brings happiness, peace, fulfillment, and realization. Wrong use of the law breeds pain, suffering, and confusion.”

In truth, the confession is an act of humility that allows us to be free of our self-righteousness, self-importance and the bondage that goes along with it. However it is important to go into this with not only a desire to cleanse ourselves of the shame and resentment of the past, but the sincere desire to change the course of our future. If we are merely blurting something out of guilt, with no desire to change the ways of thinking and doing that led to us behaving in that way in the first place, then a confession is merely a superficial way of making ourselves “feel better” so we can continue about “business as usual”.

With this understanding, we find an appropriate individual to share the exact nature of our wrongs. I did my 5th Step with my sponsor, as is typical in 12 Step Programs. However in the case of those working outside of 12 Step, it could be with a close friend also walking the spiritual path of healing, a therapist, spiritual adviser, or another wise confidant (a mentor, etc.). Find someone you trust, who you know will understand, yet be unaffected by what you share. This step should NOT be taken with partners, parents or family members. We need a safe space where hurt feelings, accusations, and the possible desire to defend our actions and our person will not become a barrier to healing.

When the appropriate individual is found and gives their consent to listen to your 5th Step, we find a place where we can talk in a safe and private manner. We bring our 4th Step inventory and review it, as well as elaborate upon it. At that point, to again quote the Green Book, “We admit our wrongs in a detailed and thorough way. We describe what we did, when we did it, and what we were thinking when we did it. We describe what the consequences were for ourselves and for others. Many of us tell the story of each wrong rather than simply listing them. In the process we reexamine situations in which we may have seen ourselves as the victim or minimized our wrongful actions.”

Many of us expect to be judged harshly or rejected by someone we tell our darkest secrets and most shameful behaviors to. However, when we tell finally someone these things and we get loving acceptance in return, we begin to heal from these ghosts of the past. We in turn begin the process of loving acceptance towards ourselves in a more complete manner.

The person you share this information with may even have insights to share that you may not have realized in your own reflection. One that I particularly remember was that I was looking for others to fill a void that I had within myself. I was looking towards others to give me the love that I did not have towards myself. I was expecting them to be able to complete me and give me identity, when these things are only something that a true relationship with God and Self can bring us. And when these people inevitably failed to meet my expectations in some way or other, I resented them, often deeply.

We must do our best to be completely and fully honest, and not “edit” or skim over details to protect ourselves. Healing will only be as complete as our honesty. Now perhaps we may have forgotten or unconsciously omitted something. Perhaps we are not ready to share everything right then and there. That’s okay. This is not something that needs to be done all in one shot. The process of rigorous honesty, especially with ourselves and our intentions is an ongoing one. The important thing is to do our best to be as honest as we can, and be honest that we are doing our best. Over time we learn to hold ourselves accountable without persecuting ourselves.

After the 5th Step process is completed to the best of our abilities, we would do wise to meditate and reflect. Let the sense of healing and gratitude fill you, and give thanks. Now we can work bit by bit on being fully honest with others and ourselves. We can begin to live the examined life of fullness and meaning. Until next time, Namaste and God Bless.

ROOT OF EVIL (part 1)

“Jesus pulled out the root of the whole place while others did it only partially. As for us, let each one dig down after the root of evil that is within us and pluck it out of our heart from the root. It will be uprooted if we recognize it. But if we are ignorant of it, it takes root in us and produces fruit in our heart. It masters us. We are its slaves. It takes us captive to make us do what we do not want; and what we do want we do not do. It is powerful because we have not recognized it.”

– Gospel of Philip: “Root of Evil”

Some might say that “evil” only exists in the individual perceptions of humans, and what is seen as evil is only a construct of belief and preference; i.e., “what is evil to you, may not be evil to me”. Some people think being gay is “evil”. Some people think sex in general is “evil”. Some people talk about the “lesser of two evils”, which works itself in with the Machiavellian perspective that tends to dominate foreign and domestic politics: “the ends justify the means” for what is labeled as the “greater good”. A major marker of “evil” in society is not following the rules, i.e. “breaking the law”. But if what is illegal in one nation is legal in another, how can that actually be any sort of marker for a true universal concept of evil?

Let’s look at what Webster’s says evil is: Evil (noun and verb): Morally bad; causing harm or injury to someone; morally reprehensible, i.e. sinful, wicked- an evil impulse.

Now let’s get down to this notion of “morally bad”. It is the opinion of many nowadays, and pop-culture certainly reflects this, that morality is simply the imposing of outdated cultural and institutional belief structures on people so they would behave in a desired manner. This is true, and it is also not true. This is the sort of confusion that occurs when people attempt to super-impose ego-based beliefs on what is the Natural Law of the universe- Law with a capital “L”. Not the codes and statutes of a state; not common law; not the laws of religious doctrine; not even the law of gravity.

We are talking about the inherent Laws that govern Creation and manifestation; things like the Law of Attraction, the Law of Karma, the Golden Rule (“do unto others”), and the Hermetic Principles (see Truth, Ignorance and the Law posting). We are talking about the governing principles of Light, Life and Love that are expressed through ultimate Truth, and that when fully realized produces sovereignty and freedom in a being and produces harmony, balance and peace in the manifested world. Natural Law is the innate set of rules that are written into the very fabric of Creation by the Creator Itself.

So if we look at true morality and “goodness” as being what is in harmony with Light, Life, and Love, then evil, in contrast, would be something that is not in harmony with these principles. Where the Christ impulse seeks to bring balance and harmony, evil seeks imbalance and strife; it is Anti-Christ. It manifests itself as fear, resentment, ignorance, confusion, chaos and control. All these people who are looking for the Antichrist need only look at the systems, institutions and beliefs that seem to dominate our world.

When I was ordained, it was made very clear to me that the free will of an individual was a sacred thing: a Natural Law principle that should never be violated. Yet we see violations of the free will of individuals in our world all the time, and it is often touted as a good thing, with ends justify the means for the greater good reasoning. I dare say that whether government sanctioned or not, murder, theft, abuse of power, predatory manipulation and use of aggressive force and coercion would be considered evils, as they inevitably violate the free will of the individual, which in turn violates the Laws of Nature and Creation.

One of my biggest criticisms of the modern New Age movement is that it seems to want to pretend that evil doesn’t exist. I’m not talking about the actual New Age that is written in the stars and being born through us, but rather the New Age business brand of cult-like, airy-fairy, feel-good, ego-based fluff that’s all about manifesting new cars and channeling space aliens. If it’s seen as “negative”, they don’t want to hear about it, out of fear of “making it real”. Sadly, though, ego-driven perception does not equate to actual truth or actual reality. The unbalancing potential of evil does exist in the world, it exists within us, and it expresses itself in a variety of different ways.

When I started on my conscious spiritual path some 13 plus years ago, I was full of ego-driven delusions of how great I was that I had found this path, that I was going to propel MY-self to the next level, and that I was going to overcome all these little defects of character that I felt were holding ME back. It was kinda all about me, really. I was cruising along, makin’ things happen, goin’ back to school, then, WHAM! I found out I had an addiction that I didn’t even know existed and it seemed to stop me dead in my tracks. It turned out the spiritual work I had been doing was only skimming the surface, and I had A LOT deeper I needed to go still. I thought I had it all figured out, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

For the next several years, there were times when I felt like I was literally in the pits of hell; that I had made the descent there was no coming back from. I went to places within myself I didn’t know existed. I was delusional, self-serving, self-hating, lying, and manipulative, and I wanted nothing more than to escape from the realities of this world. And regardless of who I hurt emotionally, there was always more than enough justification as to why I was right, or how the wrongdoing lay in their perception somehow. But the real hard truth was that I had been behaving in a similar manner my whole life and I hadn’t even realized it.

I had been ignorant of the true nature of the monster in the basement of my psyche. The monster I had made through my own self-loathing. I was ignorant that most of the beliefs I had about myself and others were lies. My willful ignore-ance of my own imbalances and illusions allowed a sickness to take root and produce cancerous fruit in my heart. I was the slave of my addiction because I did not and would not see it for what it was.

The Gospel of Philip states that evil “takes us captive to make us do what we do not want; and what we do want, we do not do.”, and that “It is powerful because we have not recognized it.”

Some Native Americans saw evil as a disease of the psyche and spirit. They called this disease, Weitiko. This disease of evil in its varying degrees fosters a self-destructive tendency in humanity that is unlike any other species on this planet. Internally, the evils within us can take hold of us and are allowed to flourish due to our oftentimes-willful ignorance of it or our refusal to believe that it exists. Or if we know it exists, we allow ourselves to be controlled by it. The exact same principle can be applied to the external world, as it is a reflection of the world within us individually and collectively.

The mass of humanity has been hypnotized and taken captive by a powerful evil that many people refuse to acknowledge even exists. It is very old and uses the mechanisms of economic, corporate, governmental, academic, scientific, religious and social institutions to perpetuate itself. There are definitely those who could be seen as “most to blame” for this in one sense, as they consciously use and closely serve it. But this could not happen were it not for the mass of humanity who, on some level, has agreed to ignore some aspect of the evil and allow it to persist and grow.

It is the mass of humanity who has bought into evil, choosing to benefit from it in some way for the satisfaction of the ego. It is the mass of humanity who has chosen to shrug off true responsibility for the maintenance of themselves and our world, choosing to focus on childish and trivial things. It is the mass of humanity that chooses to believe in and perpetuate self-loathing and self-hatred. This has allowed the evil to manifest outwardly into what has become an increasingly concentrated form, causing unimaginable suffering in our fellow man, and all of Earth’s children.

The “evils” of this world can best be likened to the archetype of the vampire that has not surprisingly become so popularized and romanticized in the media these days. It thrives in darkness and can only enter your home if you invite it in, and once it is there, it will bleed you of everything; physically, mentally, emotionally, and psychically. This vampiric force is embodied in its most concentrated form through the elite ruling class that is in control of finance, media, government, etc. Most overtly, the “food” for these financial elites is currency and the debt slavery imposed on populations through usury (lending at interest), taxation, and other forms of fraudulent financial activity and thievery. Currency is a representation of the “current” that allows things to move and operate; i.e. economic activity. However, the vampirism goes deeper than that.

It is no coincidence that major military contractors like Halliburton whose primary shareholders are these financial elites, have been caught running sex-trafficking rings. It is no coincidence that investigation into the pedophilia scandal that has involved many in the highest offices of the UK government has been halted due to “national security concerns. This force, through these men (and women) preys on innocence and purity, feeding off the fear and the vital life force of humanity. A form of power or energy is given off through the sexual degradation, torture, and slaughter of a person that this force will feed upon.

This is why the vampire is being made to be “cool” through the media in shows like “True Blood” and “Vampire Diaries”, and films like “Twilight”. It is to implant the archetype into our conscious mind in a way that it is seen as “sexy” to be preyed upon, as well as to prey upon others. We are then being encouraged to become “vampires” ourselves, perpetuating the cycle of psychic vampirism (feeding consciously or unconsciously on the mental and emotional energy of others) .

But again we need to LET THEM IN first. If we do not let them into our psyche, meaning we understand their methods and do not buy into the various forms of propaganda and belief systems attempting to be sold to us, they will not be able to make the inroads needed to morally corrupt us. We do this by recognizing this “evil” and practicing discernment with what we take into ourselves. We learn how to protect ourselves from it externally and by getting in touch with our “Guiding Light”- our Inner Sun, we are protected internally. For the vampire cannot stand the Light of the Sun/Son, and will evaporate to nothingness in His presence. When we shine a light on evil, we diminish it, because when we see it for what it is and we realize it has no true power- only the power that WE give it. When we truly let our Inner Light shine, the “vampires” of this world have no power over us.

INTO THE FIRE: THE ALCHEMY OF PURIFICATION AND TRANSFORMATION

“I am come to send fire on the earth; and what will I, if it be already kindled?”

– Luke 12:49

Since time immemorial, fire has been used in rituals with the understanding that the material fire represents and even transforms to its etheric or “spiritual” counterpart through the consciousness of the participants in the ritual. In the first full moon of Taurus, which falls right around the first of May, the ancient Celts and other northern European peoples celebrated what is known as “Beltane”. The name of this festival means “Bel’s fire” and is named after the god, Bel, or Belinus. This deity is also equated with the Phoenician and Canaanite god, Baal, which was a Sun god (some equate him with the “dark side” of the Sun). The ancient Celts recognized Bel as one of the principle aspects of the Sun, along with Lugh and Maponus.

During this time the life that had been anticipated with the feast of Imbolc back in February had come to full bloom. This was the time of fertility and mating, as well as the time of war and sacrifice. Beltane was the high holy day of the “season of sacrifice” in which burnt offerings were made to the deity in order to ensure the prosperity of the herds, the crops, and the tribes. There were times when the sacrifice would have been a human sacrifice when the unfortunate chosen would have been burned alive as an offering. While this may seem barbarous to our modern sensibilities, (and rightfully so) it should be understood that the Celts were well known for having almost no sense of fear or severity when it came to death. Of course, it was not always adults who would have been sacrificed depending on the tribe or civilization (rituals around this time took place in most agrarian societies across Europe and the Middle East).

This season of fire and sacrifice is imprinted in the collective psyche of humanity and is quite often seen played out in the various acts of war and violence that appear to “coincidentally” happen during this time. Most recently we had the city of Baltimore (Baal –timore?) set on fire at the beginning of the season. Whether or not some of these burnings were set by provocateurs or if it was indeed an organic expression of violent rage, hooliganism, etc. I cannot say for certain. But rituals can be made to manifest on grand stages when the consciousness of a people is ripe (people will only do what it is in them to do, but they can be “guided” and aided).

It is interesting that the Baltimore riot of 1861 happened on April 19th of that year. This conflict produced the first deaths by hostile action of the American Civil War as anti-war Democrats and Confederate sympathizers clashed with members of the Massachusetts militia who were on route to Washington D.C. to aid Lincoln’s efforts to “restore” the republic. With Obama having been touted as “the new Lincoln” by major media publications and the escalation of racial tensions in this country (remember the Civil War was all about slavery, right?), the synchronicity with this is somewhat curious, even if turns out to be merely synchro-mysticism (not intentionally steered by conscious human will).

When the moon was full a couple of weeks ago, I honored this important time of the year with a Fire Ceremony that was given to me by a teacher of mine many years ago. While the ceremony itself is technically Northwest American Indian in origin, when you study the foundation of these different archaic rituals you begin to see that they all work with the same basic principles. There are typically two different types of fire ceremonies performed- a transformational one, which is done on the full moon, and purification one, which is done on the new moon.

The ceremony is begun by establishing a circle using water or cornmeal that will create a sacred space in which the ritual can be performed by the individual practitioner or group. At that point, the ceremony leader calls in the directions; that is east, south, west, and north as well as sky and Earth. This includes any spiritual entities and guardians that the practitioner wishes to ask for support and guidance. Be sure to release these spirits of the directions when concluding the ceremony. When this is done a chant is used to call upon the spirit of the waters beneath the Earth:

“O Great Mother, Mother of the Waters
We call on you, waters of our birth
Waters of our sustenance
Waters that cleanse us on our death
Waters of life.”

Olive oil and an essential sweet oil are used as offerings from the Earth to “Spirit” during the taming of the fire. The fire is stoked and “tamed” before the practitioner moves forward with the purification/transformation aspect. The understanding of when the fire is “tamed”, that is, ready to be worked with, is an intuitive and spiritually guided one that is different for everyone. When you and the fire are ready, you come forth with the aspects of you wish to be purified/transformed (typically some sort of internal character defect- see Universal Step 4), or of something you wish to have brought into your life. You can also do both, but you want to be sure to keep it simple.

These things should be contemplated and decided upon before beginning the ceremony. You should also create or find an object to represent these things you are wishing to let go of, or bring into your life. This object will be given to the fire as an offering or “sacrifice”. I used a St. Brigit’s cross I constructed at Imbolc and tied the pieces of paper that had what I wished to let go of and bring in written on them to it. It should be noted that there are two rules when setting your intention for a fire ceremony- it cannot involve personal material gain, and it cannot manipulate another person’s will.

Upon putting the object with my intentions into the fire, I placed my hands briefly into the fire and drew the energy of the fire first into my belly energy center (hara or lower tan tien- see Mind, Heart and Will posting), then to my heart, and finally third eye. It is said that if you come before the fire with a pure heart, you will not get burned. The basic principle here is that through the “sacrifice” that feeds the fire, purification and or transformation will take place. This is something to remember as we continue to discuss the nature of fire in a deep sense.

To some, this whole thing may seem like primitive “hocus-pocus”, but there is a deep reason behind the use of fire in these sorts of ceremonies over the millennia. To illustrate this I have two passages from the Gnostic Gospel of Philip. The first is a passage entitled “Through Water and Fire”:

“Through water and fire this wide realm is purified, and visible cleaned by the visible, and hidden by the hidden, but there are elements concealed in the visible. There is water within water and fire in the oil of chrism.”

The second passage is entitled “Kinds of Fire”:

“Soul and spirit came into being from water and fire. From water and fire and light came the attendant in the bridal chamber. Fire is chrism. Light is fire. I am not referring to flame, which has no form, but to another kind of fire, whose appearance is white, which is luminous and beautiful and gives beauty.”

First you may note the relationship described between water and fire, and both being agents of purification. You may recall that at the beginning of the Fire Ceremony I said a prayer invoking the “Great Mother of the Waters” and that water is equated with soul in the above passage from the Gospel of Philip. Water and soul have long been understood to possess a strongly feminine quality due to its “receptive” nature (water forms and moves around whatever object submerges into it). It is the “Great Mother of the Waters” that was known to the ancients as the primordial ocean that all life came from.

The first passage also speaks of “water within water”, which is referring to the spiritual and energetic blueprint and quality of an element that lies beyond its physical manifestation- beyond what we can see and perceive with the five senses. This would be the pure “essence” of a thing.

Jesus was baptized in the waters of the Jordan River where the Holy Spirit, also long recognized as an aspect of the Divine Feminine, descended upon him and anointed him as a “Christ” or “Anointed One”. In both passages we see the word “chrism” used in relationship to fire. Chrism is anointing or “blessing” oil. One who is anointed is “blessed” in the highest possible sense of the word.

Fire is related to spirit and has an active or “male” quality (it penetrates through what it comes in contact with). However, the fire of the spirit, while “male” in quality, seems to stem, at least in part, from the complex Divine Feminine principal as well. Remember that both sexes in humans have the chromosomes of the opposite sex present within them as well: as above so below, as below so above- i.e. the same principle concept applies to the world of energy and spirit.

Modern alchemical scholar John Opsopaus states how the ancient Greek Mystery traditions speak of a “sacred and generative fire in the bowels of a living Earth” (taken from “The Secret Fire” by J.P. Carstens). Opsopaus elaborates on this fire of Earth in the following passage:

“Like the ancient shamans, the alchemists connect the Earth to the Sun, descent to ascent… For alchemists, the fire that comes from the centre of the Earth is also the key to the process of transformation and transmutation.”

First, I feel the need to point out the mention of a connection between Earth and the Sun, known universally as feminine and masculine beings respectively. In the tradition I was initiated in describes the Christ as the “personality” of the Sun, and that the being of Christ Jesus (man perfected by the spirit of the Sun, which is an extension of the spirit of Light) envelops the Earth as Her “Over-soul”.

But more importantly for this particular discussion is this fire of transformation and transmutation that comes from the center of the Earth. Where have we heard this idea of “fire in the bowels” of Earth? Holy brimstone and damnation! We’re talking about “Hell”! This fearsome concept of hell and hellfire was arguably a deliberate obfuscation of the deeper mysteries of the spiritual fire of Earth, which eventually became a hereditary dogma of Christianity. Wrapped in a cloak of fear, the masses would have been conditioned to see this as something “bad” and therefore not investigate the true meaning of it and certainly not attempt to understand it.

The purification, transmutation and transformation that takes place through this fire is not necessarily a gentle or pleasant process. It can cause us to feel suffering and even torment- especially when we do not understand it or try and resist it. We think of a “baptism by fire” or “trial by fire” and associated phrases as being a rough process of initiation, but one that essentially forces radical change or growth.

This is a process that is always at work and continues on as we transition out of physical existence into the “afterlife”. The fire is always there when we need to be transformed and transmuted- whether we like it or not. It forges us like the physical fire forms the blade of a sword. We are not tortured in “hell’, we are purged and purified. We are brought to our basic element, as is what happens when anything is burned.  Like the forest fire that occurs to clear out old growth to make way for new life to emerge.

Spiritual fire, like material fire, is neither “good” nor “bad”, it simply “is”. In our finite view of things, we tend to view anything that causes us pain of any kind as bad and we inherently want to avoid it. We as modern humans wish to be “comfortable” at all costs. The greater the pain, the more it is something to be avoided. But pain is not bad; pain is necessary.

In the physical body, pain tells us that something is wrong; that something is unbalanced and needs to be corrected. Illness often causes pain and suffering (or at the very least, discomfort). However this pain and suffering that we feel is actually the body’s immune system attempting expel the virus, parasite, etc. So in reality, it is not the virus that causes us discomfort, it is the immune system expelling it for our own good that sucks. This same principle applies to our mental, emotional, and spiritual “bodies” as well. Fire is the element that purges us of all forms of dis-ease, and does so quite well if we let it, just as our body’s immune system needs our cooperation to function properly.

However, like material fire, this spiritual fire is something that should be understood when working with it, and should not to be taken frivolously or “played with”. Again, it is not good or bad, it is a neutral force that has the power to purify, purge, transform, and transmute whatever it consumes. Looking at the Baltimore riots and events like the fire bombings of World War II, we see that fire has a presence in transforming society and world events in manners that may not be for the better, per se, but the fire purged and transformed nonetheless, as that is what it does.

Fire will always act as fire does, which is why George Washington likened it to government as “a dangerous servant and a fearful master”. This is not to say that we should fear the fire, but rather, it is our duty to understand it as with any of the Laws of Nature and Creation. If we choose not to understand it or attempt to ignore it, we will inevitably suffer and potentially be at the mercy of those who do understand the nature of fire. While fire will act independently as an agent of Karma- the Law of Cause and Effect; but it can also be used as a tool, as is done in the Fire Ceremony. We can use the fire of spirit to transform our lives and ourselves but we should be sure to do so with a pure heart so we do not get burned. Namaste and God Bless.