“There are no victims, only volunteers.”
- Robert Anthony
“Tuhon” Tom Kier, Sayoc Kali (Filipino blade martial art) instructor and Director of Operations for Sayoc Tactical Group– a group that regularly trains police and military; starts off his women’s ‘self-defense’ training by posing the following question to women who have been assaulted in some way (paraphrased):
‘Was there anything that you could’ve done to prevent the situation; any choice that you could’ve made that would’ve altered the outcome?‘
If someone says ‘no‘, he asks them to leave…
Someone might read this and think this man is being “a bully” or “misogynistic”, but this would be an assessment based in emotional reaction- something that is the antithesis of the philosophy behind Sayoc. The reason Tuhon Tom asks these women to leave, is because martial arts is really first and foremost about mindset. If your mind is not receptive to the concepts and philosophies behind the strategies being taught, then investing in training becomes a waste of everyone’s time.
This same principle applies to every aspect of our lives.
If someone truly believes they could have done NOTHING to alter in any way, a negative situation they encountered as a fully-functioning adult, they already have the mindset of a victim, and that mindset will perpetuate itself until they themselves change it. Learning things like situational awareness and various tactics of violence will be largely ineffectual if someone already has it in their mind that they are a victim- they will simply perpetuate that belief, and they will more than likely lose whatever battle they are in.
But people have a great affinity for being “the victim”, because victims aren’t responsible. This is a reflection of a greater cultural trend that has developed particularly in the last few decades.
One of the fundamental difference between being an adult and being a child in the is the freedom to make choices and decisions about the direction of our lives. We are 100% responsible for the decisions we make; what we choose to do and not to do. Of course, the exception would be young children, as well as a large percentage of who would be classed as mentally handicapped, don’t typically make too many decisions about what is happening in their lives, so the one who would potentially volunteer them for any danger are those who are charged with making their decisions and exercising guardianship over them.
A volunteer is someone who makes choices. It is ultimately where we choose to set our priorities, that determines how capable and self-reliant we can be. It is our choice that determines the direction of our lives.
It is my choice to decide that I’m going to learn how to balance my checkbook, do laundry and cook, but then decide not to take the time to bother to learn anything about my car. This means when something happens to my car, and I get stranded, and then perhaps, taken to the cleaners by the mechanics- I volunteered for that to happen. I chose not to learn how my car works, knowing that there was always the potential for the car to break down, because cars break down. I knew that, but I gave that situation away and chose not to be prepared for it.
The same principle can be applied to things like to those fully-functioning, fully-capable adults who society would label “victims” after having been on the receiving end of violence and sexual abuse. If someone takes the time to acquire knowledge of the other things that he/she may face in life (managing a career, paying bills, navigating relationships, etc.), but does not choose to partake in some sort of legitimate violence training or carry a weapon or have some other means of effective counter-violence in the event that someone at some point may try and use violence on them- that person is “giving” that situation away in the event it happens.
If there is one thing that the last few millennia of human history has taught us, it is that violence happens. But maybe if you just think positive thoughts and just avoid any kind of conflict at all whatsoever- including any situation where your loved ones may need protection; maybe you’ll be able to squeeze under the radar…
If the individual does not make learning situational awareness and tactics of violence a priority, they are volunteering for whatever may happen as a result of that violence because they chose not to be prepared for it.
Of course, the person enacting the violence or rape or any other sort of violation of sovereignty is also 100% responsible for their actions- and the resulting consequences, whatever they may be…
It does not matter if we are talking about the immediate threats like back-alley thugs or the less-tangible kind in the manner of “systemic oppression“, the seeming hopelessness of situations that we find ourselves in can always be alleviated in some way with proper preparation, proper training, and most importantly, the proper mindset.
Oprah Winfrey was a sexually abused black girl of average looks who grew up in the south during the 50s and 60s, and was impregnated at 14. But because she first and foremost cultivated the right mindset to achieve her goals, she grew to head a media empire and is one of the wealthiest and most influential people in the world. Whatever your opinion of her, you have to admit that’s pretty impressive.
So what is your excuse for not living up to your highest potential? What your excuse for being unable to master your reality and shape a life of prosperity and fulfillment?
Not enough time for that I suppose..
Or maybe it’s someone else’s fault life seems like it’s kickin’ your ass. Is it the Whites? Is it the Jews? Is it the Muslims? Is it the Leftists? Is it the Fascists? Is it men? Is it women? Is it your boss? Is it your ex? Is it your parents? Is it your partner?
Or maybe it’s you.
Perhaps it is you who are holding yourself back from becoming the highest potential version of you that can exist. No, it definitely is you. So for the good of the entire world… STOP DOING THAT!
Now, even having a strong mindset free of victim mentality, understanding how to use the Law, and possessing virtues like self-reliance and perseverance does not always ensure that we are going to “win” every single time. But as creators in the image of the Creator, we ALWAYS have the power to shape our own personal reality and put it on a path toward strength and growth, if we take the time to listen and learn how.
Namaste and WRA-ALDA’s Blessings